E3 2k7? More like C3 2k7…

So here we are, friends, at the end of what is officially day two of E3 If you recall, as recently as last year. E3 had the rep as the Mecca of gamers everywhere. Things have definitely gone full circle. In other words, Mecca has undergone a bit of downsizing in the last three-sixty five. Compare last year’s floor:











to scenes like this one

























Credit to E3cast.com and Kotaku, respectively.

Apparently, E3 has transmorphigated (V. The act of something transforming. Yes, I made it up.) into something akin to the annual summit of the American Association of Chartered Accountants with all the grace of your high school prom.

Still, it’s good to see that our beloved E3 press conferences of yore still are relatively intact. Corny over-the-top-ness, laughably skewed statistics, and pointless celebrity cameos. For those of you who missed the live streams for this year's for whatever reason, I’ve decided to give you a quick sum-up of what I absorbed from the conferences. Your mileage may vary. And this is as I remember it, so all in no particular order, nach.

Microsoft

Games you’ve already heard about, numbers, Rock Band played by people who suck at games,. Trailers. Reggie Bush, highly scripted banter. Genesis and other XBLA games a-plenty. Disney signs a deal to have downloadable movies available. Now, you can throw down the Hunchback of Notre Dame before you throw down some Gears, yo.

Nintendo

Reggie Fils-Aime. Numbers, graphs, charts, pie graphs. Pointless video (one of many.) Zapper attachment, stuff we already know about, and Mario Kart Wii. Mario Olympics. SSBB in December. Reggie attempts to lay a smackdown people who claim the N has no online strategy. With soccer games. And more numbers. Fails. Cue Satoru Iwata wanting us to be “Playas for life." and Wii Fit, which involves a wireless bathroom scale, and plays like DDR, but less fun.

Sony

PSP with video out. Games you’ve already heard about, MGS4 is PS3…Or PS TRIPLE BALLIN` if you prefer, exclusive. Blah blah. Killzone 2, LittleBigPlanet.



Now hopefully, with that drudgery out of the way we can move on to actual surprises tomorrow. But considering the ghosts of E3 past, I won't be holding my breath.

Until then, get out on that dance floor and DO THE EVOLUTION.

Or something.